Blocks, Healing, and the Protectors of Self
Once upon a time, I thought I needed to fix me, that I had parts that were broken. I needed to be fixed, made whole, and get rid of all my blocks. Then I would have the life I wanted, the life I deserve. That without breaking down the blocks and working out my issues that life would never ever happen. Then the Hierophant happened to me, that was my year card for 2015. The Hierophant for me became a year of integration and a new understanding of how I work and want to be.
There was the realization last year that I am not broken and do not need to be fixed. That all those issues and blocks I wanted to cut out of me and get rid of were what protected me. My blocks were there to keep me safe. It is a bit like yoga, the non-flexible folks know their limits and don’t get hurt as often, compared to the floppy gumbi yogis whose boundaries are not so clearly defined. They are and were my protectors and I needed to honor them for what they have done for me.
An awareness and knowing that I am perfect as I am, no matter how flawed and imperfect that is. I am perfect in my unique imperfectness. I’m not broken, sure there are wounds that need to heal but they are wounds to be healed. This does not mean I am broken and need to be fixed, to extract bits of me, to deny them.
Protectors come in all forms some of them are good for us and others once served a purpose but are no longer a good fit. Protectors have specific jobs to do and they only do those jobs with the tools they have. When they stop working for us it is because they do not have the tools they need. Most emotional protectors do not have expansive parameters but have distinct boundaries, just like our non-flexible yoga friend above. They run up against that limit and we think, shit I’m blocked, stuck, and need to be fixed.
Now you might be wondering how change comes in here? It comes in by being aware of the issues and how you act and react. Awareness let’s us start to know how the protectors are doing and who needs to go into retirement and who needs to get more tools. Being present allows you to decide, to make that choice of doing something in a different way and start to create a new pattern of being.
The top five tools I use are not ground breaking
but are simple and easy.
Simple and easy get used whereas complex and time consuming. We all know what happens to those.
Meditation of any kind, sitting, chanting, walking, whatever works for you, do it. Play around with it one may work better than the other and give this practice room to grow. It starts to give you time to hear you. Drop the excuses of can’t stop thinking, can’t stay awake, can’t sit still etc. Run out of excuses, get silent with you.
Forgiveness is a kind and gentle way to forgive anything, even the stuff you don’t know about. I tend not to name anything anymore and let me forgive what needs to be forgiven. So much is buried in our brains and never accessed not naming allows this to be accessed on some level even if we never know what.
Creating. I’m an artist and believe in art as a sacred and healing tool. I use it to get let go of energies and to bring them in. Make some really bad art and have fun with the creating of it. It frees the soul and the mind and let’s it soar. April’s Monthly Monday Download (MMD) is an art class based on sacred play. Find a way to be creative in your life.
Get gorunded, I mean grounded. I sent out the email for the first MMD with grounded misspelled it and I kind of like saying gorunded now. Ground, ground, and ground again. This keeps us in the now so we can be aware and active participants in our lives. Need a grounding meditation, try this one.
Positive self talk. This is one of the most powerful acts of self love you can give yourself. Do not discount how empowering and powerful treating you with love and kindness can be. I have kicked my arse over and over most of my life and changing how I talked to me was key to giving that protector a whole new toolbox to work with. Seriously this protector is super awesome now and reminds me when I have the I suck moments that I don’t and am so terrific.
Those are my most used tools to working with my protectors these days. I’ve found that for me this creates more space, ease, and acceptance of love than trying to break them down or extracting them from me.